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New Rules for Life

3 New Life Rules

October 15, 2024β€’3 min read

3 new life rules

Getting them tattooed on my brain.

1. Make the biggest promises you can keep.
2. Don't make promises you can't keep.
3. Keep the promises you make.

Here's how to follow them.
(With scripts you can use today).


Rule 1: Make the biggest promises you can keep.

Why make big promises?

Making big promises earns you the right to ask for big rewards.
...IF you keep those promises.


Thing is, there's a timing issue.

You can't just make big promises all the time.

For any kind of project, deliverable, or piece of work, there's an optimal promise sequence:
Big, small, Big.

1. Make big promises before starting. This gets you more buy-in.
2. Lower expectations right when you start (under-promise to over-deliver).
3. Once you know you're doing well (and hopefully you are), hype it up at the finish.


The bigger promises you make (and keep), the better your reputation gets.

The better your reputation, the easier it is to get buy-in.
But sometimes you need to really sell an idea.

So here's a script for making a big promise:


πŸ—£ "You might not believe me, and you're free to say no of course."
πŸ—£ "But if I can [deliver big promise], would that be valuable to you?"

If they say yes, then you're in a position to ask for something in return, contingent on good results.

Rule 2: Don't make bad promises.

You're about to learn how to do that.

Saying no is hard for most of us.
We don't want to burn bridges.

So we say yes accidentally.

Here's a simple script for saying No to someone if you don’t want to lose their respect or trust.

Step by step:

1. "I wish I could say yes, but I cant."

2. "I really hate to disappoint you, but right now, it wouldn't be good for either of us if I said yes and couldn't deliver my best [results] for you."

3. "I genuinely care about [you / this], so can I let you know when I'm able to commit again?"

Asking that question at the end is perfection πŸ€ŒπŸΌπŸ’‹

Rule 3: Keep your promises.

If you're following rule 2, rule 3 is a whole lot easier.

If you don't make bad promises, you tend to keep the ones you make.

But no one is perfect, and you're not gonna be the first person who is. (Sorry)

So here's how to help repair the relationship after breaking a promise.

Step by step:

1. Take full responsibility.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I messed up."

2. Validate their negative feelings.
"You have every right to hate me."

3. Preempt their skepticism.
"You shouldn't trust me right now."

4. (optional) Make another promise.
"But if you let me try again, I'm going to make sure to [deliver XYZ]."

Then make double damn sure you keep that promise!

p.s.

We're having another 🎟️ RAFFLE 🎟️

Winner gets a FREE subscription to my Career Coaching Group FOR LIFE!

More Details Here

InfluenceMaking PromisesPsychology
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Dave Wolovsky

Dave Wolovsky is a Career Growth Engineer, turning Talented Introverts into Pay Raise Prodigies, and sharing the secrets of empathy driven salary negotiation.

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