Told to Speak Up More in Meetings? You Can't Follow a Personality That's Not Yours.

If you’ve been told to speak up more in meetings, the advice almost certainly came from someone who doesn’t rehearse what they say 2 times before they say it. They jump in. It works for them. So they tell you to jump in.

But you can’t follow a personality that’s not yours.

What works for quiet people is simpler. Raise your hand and leave it up, or get a slot on the agenda before the meeting starts. Neither one asks you to become someone else.

Why doesn’t “just speak up” work for quiet people?

Because advice from an extravert is useless to an introvert.

The people telling you to jump in aren’t lying about what works for them. Jumping in came naturally, so it feels like a technique anyone could pick up. When a quiet person tries the same move, it feels awkward and fake, and it usually comes out that way too.

Nothing is wrong with you here. The advice was built for a different person.

What actually happens to a quiet person in a meeting?

Here’s what the meeting room is like for quiet people like us.

• You think of a sharp comment.
• You wait for some silence.
• It never comes. Everybody else is busy jumping in.

So you hold it. And the sentence you rehearsed goes stale in your mouth.

Then someone says half of your thought, badly, and the topic moves on.

You walk out and decide no one wants to hear what you have to say.

Do quiet people have to get louder to be heard?

No. You’re braver than you think. And it doesn’t take much to grab the room, if done right.

If all else fails, raise your hand, and leave it up until you get the attention of whoever is running the room.

Won’t raising my hand in a meeting make me look like a child?

Maybe. But if your point is super smart, the hand raise will only make you look even smarter.

Why?

Contrast.

Your voice is quiet, but your ideas are loud.

You raise your hand like a school kid, but once it’s quiet, you become an expert.

It carries into the next meeting, too. People will be more likely to listen when you move to speak.

How do I get a word in when I already know what I want to say?

Stop waiting for a gap. Ask for a slot.

Being heard is your job, not the listener’s. When you’re quiet, doing that job starts the day before.

If you know you have a solid point of view going into the meeting, but you’re afraid you won’t get a word in, message whoever runs the meeting the day before:

“Can I get a 2-minute slot on tomorrow’s agenda for the vendor thing?”

Now you’re not interrupting, and you’re not raising your hand.

You’re the next speaker.

Walking out of meetings wishing you’d said more? That’s the kind of thing I help with:
effortwise.com/session